Disappointment

dISAPPOINTMENT

We were all set for an amazing night out! We travelled to Manchester, took our time, sorted out parking, ate with my daughter, took a taxi to the Co-op Live arena, went through all the zig-zagging queues to get to security, got through security, scanned our tickets, paid a small fortune for cans of fizzy water and took our seats.  The farewell tour for an artist who wrote the soundtrack of so much of my youth. I remember sitting with my sister playing records over and over until we figured out what the words were to songs - but the words for Out of the Blue were all on the album itself, which meant no mis-heard lyrics for once! My sense of nostalgia was well and truly ignited....

But I guess when you book tickets to see a septuagenarian performer you have to expect that there are risks that they will be unwell or not live up to the memories.  If you didn't hear of Jeff Lynne's illness leading to the cancellation of his last two concerts, you probably didn't watch any news at all in early July 2025.  Just as our excitement was building, the announcement came that he was too unwell to perform and minutes later the whole atmosphere changed.  

Perhaps it's a sign of my own aging, but when I read on social media of people being 'devastated' at missing out on the experience, I was a little bemused.  I was disappointed, yes. Devastated indicates something  life-changing to me but I'm sure that it was far more difficult for poor Jeff,  who must have been feeling pretty rough at the time.  Yes, it would have been lovely to have seen him. But we can still listen to the music - ok, not the same as listening to it live, but the music isn't gone.  And the poor man can take his time to recover.  Let's face it, that can take longer for all of us as we get older.

So why am I mentioning this in a blog post on my counselling website? Because life is full of disappointments. Some might be devastating and life-changing. Maybe bereavement or illness. Others might be a mere inconvenience, like missing the bus and having to wait for the next one. Others might be a bit more costly, like the cost of travel and accommodation when we go to see a concert.  

Our ability to be resilient in the face of life's disappointments depends on so many things, including emotional costs, financial costs and the impact on our relationships and/or day-to-day living. But it's also dependent on who we are with, our attitude and our ability to re-frame the disappointment. We had a great evening because we had great company, it was a beautiful sunny summer's evening to walk back to our car and we 'danced' along to ELO's music in the car on our way home. There was a sense of camaraderie with others who had travelled even further than us. 

Not all disappointments are so easy to bounce back from. Or maybe there have been many disappointments that have piled up on top of each other. That's where counselling can be helpful.  Finding someone you can trust to work through the impact of those disappointments - whether they are recent or long ago - can be an important step in moving forward.  If you are looking for someone to help, get in touch here, or check out the BACP or ACC directories.